DATING ADVICE: AGE DIFFERENCE IN RELATIONSHIP. Older Women Younger Men. Stop dating unavailable men

hi guys my name is Elena Semenek and welcome to my channel Psychology of Happiness where happiness is the purpose of life so this question came on my Facebook page how to stop attracting the wrong man my relationship lasts for two three months and for some reason I am attracting married men it's like a bad karma how to stop attracting unavailable men recently I started dating younger guys a few times I told the man that I love him but suddenly everything goes wrong and I'm alone I want to have a normal relationship how to stop attracting the wrong guys I would like to know what am I doing wrong I'm a loving person I smile all the time I'm a very positive I will really appreciate your advice this woman is asking three questions three topics first one is dating a married man second one is dating a younger man and the third one she's saying that her relationship lasts only for short period of time let's talk about each point separately first one is dating a married man when a woman is 3 to 5 years old she's competed with her mother she's competing with her mother for father's attention and the mother should be the winner in a dual situation the girl learned that married man is not for her the married man has a wife her mother and he loved her though she cannot win so when the girl is growing up she already knows that a married man is an available man and she is not interested in relationship with a married man it also can happen in the situations when a father is telling a girl that she is the most important in his life when he's saying that he loves her more than anyone and he loves her more than mom in this case all so the mother is not the winner the daughter is the winner so the girl is thinking if I was able to win the competition competition with my mom then any other wife is not going to be an issue she does not really care about any other women it's not happening like consciously subconsciously but she's thinking that if I was able to win the competition with my mom then who cares about his wife he loves me maybe in your life it was different maybe your father did not say those words but your mother was unavailable maybe your mother was working very hard was working a lot or maybe she was emotionally unavailable and in this case you were more close with your father so he did not tell you that you're the most important person for him he did not tell you that he loves you more than his wife but you knew it you kind of knew it from your heart from the inside that you know mother is busy your mother is not emotionally available but you have such a good contact with your father so you are theoretically and practically the winner so that's why you're attractive married man I have a separate video about dating and married men consequences of dating a married man and about the habit of being a mistress I will leave the link below this video the second topic is about dating a younger men if it's just 2 3 4 years younger then it's okay that's totally fine I don't see anything wrong about it but if he is significantly younger than you then it might be about trust issue and control issue possible that after several are unsuccessful relationship with a married man you cannot trust a guy you are cannot trust to go into deep relationship you already learned that love equal pain so in this creation you decide that you gonna be in control so it's better to date younger guys and control the situation control the relationship then go back to pain because if your control and you kind of like in charge of everything you cannot feel pain you can manage the relationship so in this case you're saying I will control the situation I will control the relationship I will be in control because you're older you already know what he's going through you already know what to expect from a younger guy so you're going in this relationship and it's easy for you it's easy for you to be in charge in this situation you becoming like a mother who is controlling the relationship a woman can control a man in two ways the first way is like a hard way when she's telling you what to do when she's teaching him when she is shaking what he is doing and the second way when she is loving caring supporting she is like a nice soft mother who is taking care of her boy taking care of his arm problems you know who is controlling him in a soft nice way and it's also kind of shot just a little bit different but it's also a control and the third topic is about the relationship that lasts only two three four months so why is it happening this is about fear fear that relationship will bring pain fear that your heart will be broken again fear that something will go wrong and it's gonna be even more pain and this is the reason why you were choosing unavailable man why you are choosing the wrong guys because you afraid that your relation ship will bring even more pain so it's better to be in relationship for a short period of time because if you're gonna be in a long-lasting relationship then the pain will be bigger so you want to be in relationship but you want to be for a short period of time because married man is also unavailable man so it's also about short relationship you are choosing short relationship unavailable relationship because you're great to feel pain it's better to be in a short relationship and have small pain than be in a long relationship and have huge pain so the fear of being close and relationship that fear of future conflicts the fear of future future divorce maybe or the fear of being disappointed is so huge that you are choosing unavailable guys that you choose an Iran man that you are choosing a married man that you're choosing a man who is significantly younger than you so this is all about the fear the fear that my heart will be broken again that I will be disappointed the daggers will will feel so bad that I rather be alone I rather be alone I rather ended relationship now I'd rather treat unavailable men so it's gonna end in two three maybe four months I also have another video about why in mine like in relationship and about jealousy and loneliness I will leave the links below this video make sure to check those ridges share this video with your friends post on your Facebook Twitter subscribe to my channel put the thumbs up if you like this video click the bell icon to receive notifications of new videos that I post every week thank you for watching the college of happiness we at happiness is the purpose of life

In the world of online dating, women ‘peak at 18 while men peak at 50’

 The miserable cross-section of ageism and sexism strikes again  You know, the general consensus that while men get better with age, women are pointless after the age of 30  A big part of this comes from our evolved drive to reproduce

A woman’s fertility is at its peak in her 20s, so that’s the best age for her to get pregnant and spawn some kids Men’s fertility declines with age too, but this doesn’t have as strong an impact on reproduction  And so men can still be attractive for reproductive purposes in later age, while women are biologically less attractive once they’re out of their fertile prime  There’s also the super fun cultural reasoning behind straight men fancying young women – the way we prize youthful bodies and demonise signs of ageing, the infantalising of women so men can feel more powerful, and so on  In the world of online dating, both those factors come to the fore, creating an environment where older men are flooded with matches while an older women’s prospects feel barren  To put it in blunt, haunting terms: Women on dating apps are most desired at 18, while men hit their peak at 50  That’s according to a new study published in the journal of Science Advances, which looked at data from heterosexual online daters living in Boston, New York, Seattle, and Chicago  The researchers found that a woman’s desirability on dating sites and apps declines with age, dropping from the time she’s 18 until she’s 60 That means that when online dating, women are at their peak desirability when they’re still teenagers  For men, however, desirability peaks at 50, then declines with age  ‘The age gradient for women definitely surprised us,’ Elizabeth Bruch, the author of the study, told the New York Times, ‘both in terms of the fact that it steadily declined from the time women were 18 to the time they were 65, and also how steep it was ’  Other than youth, factors that affected desirability were physical attractiveness and education – although the impact of education was stronger for men  While men’s desirability increased with the level of education they’d received, women were considered most desirable when they had an undergraduate degree When women had a postgraduate degree, they became less attractive  Before you get too miserable about the state of dating (30-year-olds with multiple degrees, you’re clearly doomed), it’s worth noting that these are the traits that people found attractive – it doesn’t mean they’d turn down anyone who doesn’t fit those rigid standards  People don’t tend to only go for people who meet their dream requirements, although the research did find that daters typically message potential partners around 25% more desirable than themselves