DATING ADVICE: AGE DIFFERENCE IN RELATIONSHIP. Older Women Younger Men. Stop dating unavailable men

hi guys my name is Elena Semenek and welcome to my channel Psychology of Happiness where happiness is the purpose of life so this question came on my Facebook page how to stop attracting the wrong man my relationship lasts for two three months and for some reason I am attracting married men it's like a bad karma how to stop attracting unavailable men recently I started dating younger guys a few times I told the man that I love him but suddenly everything goes wrong and I'm alone I want to have a normal relationship how to stop attracting the wrong guys I would like to know what am I doing wrong I'm a loving person I smile all the time I'm a very positive I will really appreciate your advice this woman is asking three questions three topics first one is dating a married man second one is dating a younger man and the third one she's saying that her relationship lasts only for short period of time let's talk about each point separately first one is dating a married man when a woman is 3 to 5 years old she's competed with her mother she's competing with her mother for father's attention and the mother should be the winner in a dual situation the girl learned that married man is not for her the married man has a wife her mother and he loved her though she cannot win so when the girl is growing up she already knows that a married man is an available man and she is not interested in relationship with a married man it also can happen in the situations when a father is telling a girl that she is the most important in his life when he's saying that he loves her more than anyone and he loves her more than mom in this case all so the mother is not the winner the daughter is the winner so the girl is thinking if I was able to win the competition competition with my mom then any other wife is not going to be an issue she does not really care about any other women it's not happening like consciously subconsciously but she's thinking that if I was able to win the competition with my mom then who cares about his wife he loves me maybe in your life it was different maybe your father did not say those words but your mother was unavailable maybe your mother was working very hard was working a lot or maybe she was emotionally unavailable and in this case you were more close with your father so he did not tell you that you're the most important person for him he did not tell you that he loves you more than his wife but you knew it you kind of knew it from your heart from the inside that you know mother is busy your mother is not emotionally available but you have such a good contact with your father so you are theoretically and practically the winner so that's why you're attractive married man I have a separate video about dating and married men consequences of dating a married man and about the habit of being a mistress I will leave the link below this video the second topic is about dating a younger men if it's just 2 3 4 years younger then it's okay that's totally fine I don't see anything wrong about it but if he is significantly younger than you then it might be about trust issue and control issue possible that after several are unsuccessful relationship with a married man you cannot trust a guy you are cannot trust to go into deep relationship you already learned that love equal pain so in this creation you decide that you gonna be in control so it's better to date younger guys and control the situation control the relationship then go back to pain because if your control and you kind of like in charge of everything you cannot feel pain you can manage the relationship so in this case you're saying I will control the situation I will control the relationship I will be in control because you're older you already know what he's going through you already know what to expect from a younger guy so you're going in this relationship and it's easy for you it's easy for you to be in charge in this situation you becoming like a mother who is controlling the relationship a woman can control a man in two ways the first way is like a hard way when she's telling you what to do when she's teaching him when she is shaking what he is doing and the second way when she is loving caring supporting she is like a nice soft mother who is taking care of her boy taking care of his arm problems you know who is controlling him in a soft nice way and it's also kind of shot just a little bit different but it's also a control and the third topic is about the relationship that lasts only two three four months so why is it happening this is about fear fear that relationship will bring pain fear that your heart will be broken again fear that something will go wrong and it's gonna be even more pain and this is the reason why you were choosing unavailable man why you are choosing the wrong guys because you afraid that your relation ship will bring even more pain so it's better to be in relationship for a short period of time because if you're gonna be in a long-lasting relationship then the pain will be bigger so you want to be in relationship but you want to be for a short period of time because married man is also unavailable man so it's also about short relationship you are choosing short relationship unavailable relationship because you're great to feel pain it's better to be in a short relationship and have small pain than be in a long relationship and have huge pain so the fear of being close and relationship that fear of future conflicts the fear of future future divorce maybe or the fear of being disappointed is so huge that you are choosing unavailable guys that you choose an Iran man that you are choosing a married man that you're choosing a man who is significantly younger than you so this is all about the fear the fear that my heart will be broken again that I will be disappointed the daggers will will feel so bad that I rather be alone I rather be alone I rather ended relationship now I'd rather treat unavailable men so it's gonna end in two three maybe four months I also have another video about why in mine like in relationship and about jealousy and loneliness I will leave the links below this video make sure to check those ridges share this video with your friends post on your Facebook Twitter subscribe to my channel put the thumbs up if you like this video click the bell icon to receive notifications of new videos that I post every week thank you for watching the college of happiness we at happiness is the purpose of life

8 Dating Tips For Women Over 40

8 Dating Tips for Women Over 40 1

Make sure you’re truly ready According to the Pew Research Center, divorce rates have increased by 14% for adults between 40 and 49, and for adults over 50, the increase is 109% If you’ve just gone through a divorce or breakup, it’s probably best to not jump right into dating You want to give yourself some time to heal, reflect on the relationship, and focus on yourself The same can be said if you’re single and have just experienced something tragic in your life like the loss of a family member or job

Immediately getting into a relationship will just be a distraction from what’s really going on 2 Know your deal breakers We can all be too picky sometimes when it comes to dating, but try to separate your surface-level deal breakers with your deeper deal breakers For example, someone liking the same movies as you isn’t really a must-have is it? But it’s probably important if they have the same opinions about religion, children, and where you want to live

Think about the qualities and beliefs you want your future date or partner to possess that you can’t live without, and then go forward from there 3 Join a couple dating sites and apps Online dating is one of the best and most efficient ways to meet people if you’re over 40, but you don’t want to put all your eggs into one basket by joining just one site/app Numerous dating platforms are meant just for older adults, and many of the popular platforms really know how to cater to this audience

The benefit of joining multiple dating sites is that you get to try out different features and have the chance to be exposed to even more types of people 4 Look beyond your type Everyone has their dating preferences, whether they apply to a person’s appearance, interests, education, lifestyle, or something else However, you shouldn’t put limits on yourself

Society already puts us in enough boxes, so you don’t want to do the same (For example, by saying, “I only like to date men who are over 6 feet tall”) Give people who you might usually look past a chance You honestly never know how the date will turn out Plus, it makes dating more exciting when you aren’t sure what your date is going to be like and you two don’t have all the same opinions

5 Be willing to make the first move I think most of us can agree that the guy shouldn’t always have to make the first move when it comes to dating and relationships Yes, it can be scary to put yourself out there, but most of the time making the first move pays off big time Try sending the first message, asking for the date before he does, or going in for a kiss if it feels right

More than likely, your date will appreciate it and be attracted to you for your initiative 6 Know that not every date is going to hit the mark It’s easy to get your hopes up, especially with online dating Their profile seems just right, and they’re saying a lot of great things

Then you meet in person, and there just doesn’t seem to be any chemistry It happens Don’t let it get you down Just as you would with most things in life, dust yourself off and try again Every single date isn’t going to be a home run

Instead of focusing on whether this person is the one, just have fun and enjoy getting to know someone new 7 Don’t bring up your ex too much If you’ve just gotten out of a relationship, it’s inevitable that you’ll bring it up on a date at some point, but try to keep the ex to a minimum Your new date may think you still care for him or her romantically or that you‘re holding a grudge and aren’t ready to date

You want a fresh start, and you want to set the right tone for this date and possibly a future relationship 8 Remember age doesn’t matter, really To be honest, there are no hard-and-fast rules for dating in your 40s In fact, there are no hard and fast rules for dating, in general

As long as you’re enjoying yourself, being honest, and not hurting anyone else, you’re on the right track So forget about any preconceived notions you may have about dating at “a certain age” The number is irrelevant You can date whomever you want, wear whatever you want, go wherever you want, and everything else in between Please tell us your opinions in the COMMENTS section below

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10 Reasons Why Younger Women Like Dating Older Men

10 Reasons Why Younger Women Like Dating Older Men That was a nice title, we managed to get you here so we deserve a pat on our back! Alright now back to the point, we know we said that young women like older men but before you young boys decide to dye your hair grey to get them, it doesn’t apply to every girl! But you probably have faced a situation where you were trying to woo a girl and did everything right, from dressing to texting to one liners but she still ended up with your senior We totally get you buddy, we’ve been there and done that

So we thought why not help the likes of you to understand where you went wrong or rather what are the young girls looking for Are you interested in this ride into a young girl’s mind who goes gaga over older men? Number 10 They have an old world charm What do you expect to happen on a first date with a young boy? He’ll probably come late with a goofy expression plastered on his face and say “Heyyy whaddupp babesss”! While some girls would fall for this carefree attitude and expect some of his “coolness” to rub on them, others would find it a turn off! Pulling a chair, getting flowers or giving a peck on the cheek instead of pushing your tongue down her throat might impress her more After all, there is nothing like going old school in a budding romance! Number 9 They’re more established We’re not saying that younger men can’t be successful but the chances are bleak

Older men have spent years establishing themselves and thus have higher chances of owning the luxuries of life If the man owns a house, a car, maybe a holiday cottage with a boat, his lady love can enjoys all this with him! Women who are financially independent are also inclined to date a man who is established or things come easy to him Come on, wealth makes dating more enjoyable, right? Number 8 They are better communicators Being a great communicator is not necessarily based on age because some guys are born with it But for the rest of us, it takes a lot of time to learn the art of listening and connecting through it

Till the time boys haven’t developed this skill, they are mostly pretending to listen to their girls while they are undressing her in his thoughts! We hope we haven’t offended anyone with this statement because hello, we said that in good humor or maybe that is just a cover-up! Okay so older men are more likely to hold meaningful conversations at a first meeting or even flirt well at a bar Women like this “best of both worlds” idea! Number 7 They’ve got time A young woman may have a lot of reasons to love a man her age but it will die down if he has no time at his disposal to spend with her! Young men are generally too engrossed in building their career and doing late nights to impress their superiors that they often end up with time schedules with no time slot for their lady love This will not go down too well with the woman who would eventually look for a man who can wind up work early on a Friday for a weekend getaway! An older man seems like an ideal choice here because he is further ahead in his career and doesn’t have to put in 60 hours of work every week to earn his bread! Number 6 They’re better at relationships You get better with experience- that is applicable in all fields in general but for now we are focusing on the relationship bit! While we are young, we often make mistakes and gradually learn from them

In case of relationships, after guys are over their amateur mistakes and flaws as a boyfriend, they become a keeper! And age has a role to play in it, with years of dating behind them, they learn to keep realistic expectations and lay them clear in the beginning without beating around the bush Also they learn to respect their partner’s needs and wants and have the confidence to take a step when things aren’t working or for the opposite! Number 5 They are smarter and wiser Come on now, with all those years in their backpack, you know that they have conquered wisdom and smartness! So while the younger boys are downing one beer after another, the older men are using their years of experience to discuss important topics with their lady and making her fall for his intelligence and wisdom! Let’s face it, boys take a while longer to reach maturity and some girls can’t wait for their boyfriends to grow up and that’s where the older man comes in the picture! Number 4 They’ve kicked bad habits You’d probably say that with age our habits tend to grip us even more and it gets difficult to leave behind them You’ve got a point there but you’ve conveniently kept the maturity aspect out of it

While young men in their 20s would be struggling with their smoking habit or how ogling a woman is not nice, older men have seen the long term consequences of them and have quit these habits for good! That makes for another reason to love a man with grey in his hair! Number 3 They are more confident Older men have faced their youthful insecurities, dealt with them and moved on in life They have emerged victorious and lead a more confident life in general which is generally not enjoyed by young boys These mature men tend to exude more comfort and create a fun atmosphere for their lady There is nothing sexier than a man who is confident in his own skin and makes an effort to make others feel the same way about themselves

That’s a quality most women look for in their partner! Number 2 They aren’t looking to change the woman An older man has been through many relationships and has learnt that there is no point in trying to mold a woman to make her fit into his life He would rather go for a girl who he finds compatible with him the most and would enjoy her being what she is Many women believe that even when they are living in the age of feminism, many young men can’t tolerate a woman who is strong headed, opinionated and desires independence Older men on the other hand have been through this phase and know that being less controlling is the key to a happy partnership! Number 1

They know what they are doing in bed Get her to one orgasm with foreplay and move to the thrusting part That’s how most young boys behave in the intimacy of their bedrooms But as their experience with ladies increases, they focus more on the pleasure of their partner This means that they are not in a hurry to cut the chase and move to the end thing but the foreplay session where they are getting her hot and bothered will end up with orgasms- yes plural! Older men know that a good night is one where their woman loses count of her orgasms Boys, take the hint! What is your take on young women dating older men? Tell us in the comment section below

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8 Reasons Why Men Prefer Dating Older Women

8 Reasons Why Men Prefer Dating Older Women Dating has become so much easier with technology guiding us through the painstaking process of landing our perfect one! But these sites and apps that match us to people with similar interests are notorious in the sense that their statistics reveal men prefer to date women who are in their 20s even if they are 50 years old themselves! The strange thing is that this inclination of men to date younger women is acceptable but the reverse is often frowned upon! Don’t worry, we won’t bore you with gender equality jargon because the point here is that unlike these men, there are some who are attracted to older women Going against the societal taboo, such men do exist so even if you aren’t Madonna or JLo, you may find love in a younger man, after all there are so many reasons why men want to date mature women

Wanna know about them? Number 1 Confidence is sexy As if you didn’t already know this- men find confident women sexy! Even though confidence isn’t directly linked to age but younger women tend to be insecure about themselves because they can’t help but compare themselves to the models they regularly see on the covers of Vogue and GQ! They suffer from unhealthy self-image because let’s face it- flawless skin, concave belly, hour glass figure with zero cellulite isn’t the most common body type! Older women on the other hand have been through all this and have emerged out smarter with the knowledge that they are sexy in their own skin Guess what? Men find this so much sexier than young girls who get jealous by a simple, “She looks pretty”! Number 2 No commitment pressure This may sound more like a stereotype but let’s face it, this applies 8 out of 10 times! Younger women are more likely to run after commitment than mature women Older ladies have had their fair share of serious relationships, seen the pros and cons and have probably grown tired of them, at least you can hope for the last bit! The point is that mature women know what kinda emotional stress comes with a serious relationship and are thus not jumping at any opportunity they get to tag the guy as their “boyfriend” unless of course everything is working out just fine! The men won’t feel strangled with the expectation of commitment with older women and trust us, this is a good enough reason to date them! Number 3

Better dates If your idea of a date is getting drunk, dancing to the music blaring from some annoying speakers and then passing out in the washroom, then you are better off with a young girl But if intellectual conversations stimulate you more than seeing semi-naked girls in the club, you might want to explore the other options! Older women are generally more aware about the world and can give you amazing trivia while sipping expensive wine in a relatively more human-like place The best part is that you may not even have to pay for her drinks because remember we told you, she is financially independent and going Dutch might be her style! Number 4 No liabilities If you are an older woman, chances are that you are already well settled in your life with your career in place and priorities well laid out You had a way of life before the man walked by and swept you off your feet and you probably will still live like the independent woman that you are

You won’t make your man the center of your life and that’s something most men like and also something most young women fail to give them! Plus how can we forget that older women already have money, house and car so they aren’t probably after your money That’s a huge doubt cleared out, boys you can take a sigh of relief! Number 5 No biological clock ticking The millennials and Generation Y males are no longer like their ancestors who had a settled career, married and proud parents to 3 by the time they hit 35! This generation will most likely devote a few years to fun before they can mentally prepare themselves to settle down and plan a family Don’t judge them, after all most of them are still struggling to pay off their student loans and stabilize a career so where’s the space for a family? This is why dating an older woman is a great idea because her biological clock isn’t ticking like a younger woman The mature lady has already been through this phase and is not looking for something permanent, at least we hope so! Number 6

The right approach Where on one hand young girls wait for the man to make the move, older ladies aren’t afraid of approaching a man at the bar if they like him Guys like it when the woman makes the first move! The overall communication in a relationship is better if the woman is older because she won’t act like a young girl not answering her phone to show her importance She is more open to communication about the issues creeping in and also about her sexual needs When a woman openly shares her desires and expectations from the relationship, it becomes easy for the man to please her The best thing is that she doesn’t feel that by talking about her needs, she’ll lose her man because as it is she won’t! Number 7

Experience helps Let’s not kid ourselves, if she is a mature woman, she probably has some experience up her sleeve And yes, we mean sexually! They are generally not shy in being naked around their man and are also ready to please him The more experience they have, the more they know about the things that men like in the bedroom and won’t shy away from giving a practical demo of their knowledge With many years of experience with different men, mature women know the tricks of the trade and what makes a man roar like the lion! Number 8 Self-awareness This one is twisted but very practical

Younger women aren’t so aware about their own bodies and that has been proven by a variety of researches, so no questioning that! But older women on the other hand have years of experience with other men as well as with themselves You know what we mean, right? They have been relieving themselves on their own and have a wide knowledge about the things that turn them on and what works best for them! Since they are self-aware, they are in a position to better guide their partners in pleasuring them which becomes a challenge when it comes to younger women The best part is that they are even ready to teach their younger lovers the tricks which will establish the men as experienced studs after the relationship is over and they move towards someone their own age! Are there any more reasons to date older women that should be on this list? Tell us in the comment section below Click on the bell icon and get notified of new videos and subscribe to our channel if you liked this video Stay tuned for more videos, lot’s coming up

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In the world of online dating, women ‘peak at 18 while men peak at 50’

 The miserable cross-section of ageism and sexism strikes again  You know, the general consensus that while men get better with age, women are pointless after the age of 30  A big part of this comes from our evolved drive to reproduce

A woman’s fertility is at its peak in her 20s, so that’s the best age for her to get pregnant and spawn some kids Men’s fertility declines with age too, but this doesn’t have as strong an impact on reproduction  And so men can still be attractive for reproductive purposes in later age, while women are biologically less attractive once they’re out of their fertile prime  There’s also the super fun cultural reasoning behind straight men fancying young women – the way we prize youthful bodies and demonise signs of ageing, the infantalising of women so men can feel more powerful, and so on  In the world of online dating, both those factors come to the fore, creating an environment where older men are flooded with matches while an older women’s prospects feel barren  To put it in blunt, haunting terms: Women on dating apps are most desired at 18, while men hit their peak at 50  That’s according to a new study published in the journal of Science Advances, which looked at data from heterosexual online daters living in Boston, New York, Seattle, and Chicago  The researchers found that a woman’s desirability on dating sites and apps declines with age, dropping from the time she’s 18 until she’s 60 That means that when online dating, women are at their peak desirability when they’re still teenagers  For men, however, desirability peaks at 50, then declines with age  ‘The age gradient for women definitely surprised us,’ Elizabeth Bruch, the author of the study, told the New York Times, ‘both in terms of the fact that it steadily declined from the time women were 18 to the time they were 65, and also how steep it was ’  Other than youth, factors that affected desirability were physical attractiveness and education – although the impact of education was stronger for men  While men’s desirability increased with the level of education they’d received, women were considered most desirable when they had an undergraduate degree When women had a postgraduate degree, they became less attractive  Before you get too miserable about the state of dating (30-year-olds with multiple degrees, you’re clearly doomed), it’s worth noting that these are the traits that people found attractive – it doesn’t mean they’d turn down anyone who doesn’t fit those rigid standards  People don’t tend to only go for people who meet their dream requirements, although the research did find that daters typically message potential partners around 25% more desirable than themselves

Here’s scientific proof that online dating sucks for women

 These are research findings to swipe left on  The “desirability” of women online daters peaks at age 18, according to a study recently published in the journal Science Advances Men, meanwhile, only hit peak desirability at age 50

“Older women are less desirable, while older men are more so For women, this pattern holds over the full range of ages on the site: The average woman’s desirability drops from the time she is 18 until she is 60,” wrote co-authors Elizabeth Bruch and M EJ Newman “For men, desirability peaks around 50 and then declines”  The study, which examined nearly 200,000 users on a “popular, free online-dating service” from heterosexual dating markets in New York, Chicago, Boston and Seattle, determined desirability by the number of messages a user received over a month, as well as the desirability of the users sending those messages  Previous dating-site research seems to mirror this age disparity: An OKCupid analysis of messages between straight daters from 2013 to 2017, for example, found that 61 percent of “successful” conversations (“at least at four messages back and forth with contact exchange”) occurred between an older man and younger woman, with an age gap of at least five years in nearly half of them And 2018 data from the dating site Zoosk showed that 60 percent of men were attracted to younger women, while 56 percent of younger women opted to date older men  While licensed psychotherapist Stacy Kaiser says she wasn’t taken aback by the age of men’s peak desirability (“Women have a tendency to look for stability, the job, the education — and those things do come with age,” she told Moneyish), she was surprised by the peak age for women “Eighteen-year-olds are fresh out of high school — they haven’t emotionally (or) intellectually developed; they’re still trying to figure themselves out,” she said “So they are a risk for dating, in that a lot of people change as they enter their 20s ”  But in a more general sense, Kaiser noted, “we’ve always known that men have wanted younger women ” “They think that they are more easy to impress; they are more (moldable) in terms of everything from emotional behavior to what type of restaurant to eat at,” she said, adding they tend to be “more fit, have less expectations and less baggage ”  “This is why it’s so hard to meet people,” Kaiser added

“More men want an 18-year-old, and more women want a (50)-year-old ”  The present study also found that while more education was desirable in men, women’s desirability declined with greater educational bonafides: An undergrad degree was considered most desirable for women, while postgraduate education was linked to decreased desirability White men and Asian women were regarded as most desirable across all four cities (OKCupid data has shown that black people and Asian men receive lower ratings) Meanwhile, men in all four cities saw slightly lower response rates after sending more “positively worded” messages (based on the text-analysis program Linguistic Inquiry and Word Count [LIWC])  And “the vast majority” of both men and women tend to aim out of their league, according to the paper In fact, the authors found that people went for partners who were about 25 percent more desirable than they were  “Our results on aspirational mate pursuit are consistent with the popular concept of dating ‘leagues,’ as reflected in the idea that someone can be ‘out of your league,’ meaning that attractive matches are desirable for but unavailable to less attractive others,” they wrote “The chances of receiving a reply from a highly desirable partner may be low, but they remain well above zero, although one will have to work harder, and perhaps also wait longer, to make progress ”  Kaiser suggested singles may over-reach because “it builds their self-esteem if they get that person ” “It’s a confidence and self-esteem booster: ‘If I can get that person that I think is better than me, then maybe I am not as bad as I thought,’” she said